the wedding book (i.e. a small journal) will always hold our wedding vows. we worked with our friend (an ordained minister) on other aspects of our ceremony, but we wanted our vows to be our own.
if you search wedding vows or wedding ceremony you’ll find thousands of little snippets and thousands of full samples. if you’re not picky, you can copy and paste a wedding ceremony in less than two minutes. we used a traditional outline (processional, prayer, music, vows, and exchange of rings, recessional) but personalized it with the addition of a buddhist wedding prayer and a song performed by our close friends’ children.
weeks before the wedding, we began to piece together our vows to each other. i remember michael asked, “what are the guidelines?” we decided on “not too long”, “not too silly”, and “nothing embarrassing.” mainly we agreed on “the most important words”— kind and loving words to share about each other in the presence of the dearest people in our lives. on the morning of the wedding, michael copied his vow on the first few pages in the book, and then i skipped a couple and wrote mine.
at the church, michael spoke first, and then i did. though smiling, we fought back tears. our ceremony and the echo of the words sit unmoving in my memory. i am not sure if i will ever digest the beauty; it feels like time stood still.
if you’re thinking about writing your own wedding vows, i encourage you to simply try. find a quiet place on a weekend afternoon and jot or type what you feel in your heart. the words may not be perfect the first time (or fifth time) but the words you want will show themselves eventually. good luck! if all else fails, google.
when i told michael i planned to design our wedding invitations, he said, “of course you are. we wouldn’t have it any other way.” i didn’t have any previous experience making stationery, but as you know, i love to draw, and that seemed like a good enough reason.
magazines, planners, experts, and oprah will tell you that an invitation sets the tone for your wedding. metallics and scripts work well for black tie and rustic touches are perfect for outdoor parties. michael and i wanted something personal, pretty, and down-to-earth, so i settled on an illustrated, handmade combination.
i drew the artwork, placed the type, and printed the cards on eames canvas paper before carefully cutting them with an x-acto knife. i mounted the invitation on a kraft card and wrapped the entire set with baker’s twine, a paper shape (all the shapes were different; they ranged from vintage keys to little messages to birds), and a metal initial of the guest’s last name.
after we sealed the envelopes, i hand-lettered everyone’s mailing addresses. all i can say about that step is: ooowwwww my hand and thank goodness i bought a lot of white pens.
looking back, i probably should have worked with an online printer like vistaprint or a local copy shop. the process seems effortless in a photograph. there were many times i felt annoyed and overwhelmed with the computer, our printer, the paper, the dimensions, the decorating, etc. doing-it-yourself isn’t always easy, but the experience is worthwhile. i had a pep in my step as i carried them in a bushel basket to the post office!
we absolutely adored the final invitation and so did our family and friends. today i share our invitation with you as a small glimpse of our wedding day and my stubborn, creative brain.
this post is my first wedding reflection. stay tuned for a few more.
next month, michael and i will get married! i’m so excited about seeing our family and friends; many of them will travel across the country for the special occasion. we’ve got the major cities covered: los angeles, chicago, atlanta, philadelphia, and washington, d.c.
when we first met, we didn’t plan on falling in love, and we certainly didn’t plan on moving to big bad texas, far away from the states where we grew up. i mailed our invitations over the summer, feeling apprehensive about how many cards we would actually get back.
but they arrived in the mail, slowly but surely. there’s that old saying of your presence is a present. as cliché as it sounds, it’s true. as we approach our wedding day, we feel blessed and excited that the very most important people in the whole world will be there with us.
today i am reminded that being loved is enough. to our guests, you are loved, too.
photograph by me. printed flag by natural life.
michael and i both grew up in rural areas where someone’s driveway ranged from being a few hundred feet to almost a mile long. we went to college in cities and then lived in apartments in the suburbs. we never had a neighborhood until we moved into our house.
our next door neighbor is very outgoing; she can rattle off the names of everyone who lives on our street. she tells me which kids play what sports and which dogs belong to what house. in case you’re wondering, we’re an island of pug in the sea of shih tzus.
i try to be polite. i say hello to people i see on walks and drive slowly when the skateboarders are out. once i left a bag of big dog bones at our mail stoop for other dogs because they were too large for sophie (she didn’t think so).
this summer i left something different. i stuck some woven friendship bracelets in a baggie and scribbled HAPPY SUMMER! michael told me i was silly for leaving the bracelets.
but they disappeared one or two at a time. then i found an unexpected note for me!
i think it’s important to be kind to your neighbors even in small ways. so say hello, what’s up, how are you, i’m fine, too. you don’t have to be their best friend. just be friendly, and you might find someone who wants to be neighborly, too.
i’m proud to report that our wedding plans are in full swing— we finalized our venue, caterer, and menu. most of my crafty projects now revolve around a mix-and-match french picnic theme chosen for the reception.
i chose our wedding colors based on a late summer palette. although we’re getting married in october, autumn in texas is much warmer than fall on the east coast. the tan is for wood tones and the poppy is for punch. ivory is just a basic, versatile color that never goes wrong.
these colors aren’t our absolute favorite swatches nor do they signify anything important to our families. red is a wedding color in many asian cultures but brides also wear metallics. i picked them because they seemed friendly and looked nice together.
how did you choose your wedding or party colors?
if you ask a variety of brides about their wedding plans, you would receive different responses. some might have prepared for the day by playing princess as a little girl. some might enjoy the process and gush about how fun it is. some might leave it to the professionals while others are happily DIT (doing it themselves). and then some— like me— took awhile to get started.
after we got engaged and dove into planning, michael was confused. he watched me browse magazines, thumb through books, and hesitantly create a pinterest board. i made him answer surveys, take quizzes, and shoot ideas back and forth. he said, “i thought you knew what you wanted.” in a quiet corner of my heart, i did. but in a modern world where everything is publicized and recorded, i didn’t.
in the beginning, i collected more what ifs than actual inspiration. what if it’s too expensive? what if it’s too cheap? what if guests don’t like those foods? what if no one feels the same magical way about our color scheme? what if i don’t order invitations? what if i’m crazy and make them? what if i use tons of ink and print them and they’re crooked? what if i listen to my mother-in-law? what if i don’t listen to her? what if my brother can’t play the songs? what if my buddhist parents think our ceremony is too western? what if we just eat hamburgers? the list went on and on and on.
we were engaged in july and by january i talked about the wedding only occasionally. it wasn’t that we didn’t love each other (we schmoopy love each other). all my worries snowballed together and became a big snow-STALL. i dreaded going out to dinner or walking the hallways at school and running into a friend who might ask, “how are your wedding plans coming along?” i ground my teeth at night. i gave the stink-eye to any couple with a full-spread glamorous wedding on a manicured estate or dreamy ceremony atop a middle-of-nowhere mountain. blame it on media, blame it on perfectionism, blame it on myself. i didn’t think i measured up to what others hoped i could be.
in april, i woke up and broke away from the blizzard. dwelling on doubts put me further inside someone else’s fantasy, and i longed to be back inside my own dream. our own dream. our adventure. our wedding. michael and i have accomplished more goals in the past six weeks than i thought possible. if you’re a bride-to-be, don’t forget who you are, and if need be, go back to the drawing board.
maybe you can relate to my story, or maybe you’re thinking, girl get your party together! either way, i’m okay with it now. and for the latter, we’re finally getting there.
screenshot of my pinterest board.
every sunday, michael allows me to treat myself (“treat yo-self”) to a bunch of blooms at the grocery store. the best parts about buying supermarket flowers are the low prices and unusual assortment. i always try to pick out something new though i favor matsumotos and ranunculus.
this week a bunch of gemini daisies caught my eye. never have i seen them in such a vibrant color. after i trimmed the stems, i arranged the flowers in fraternal twin vases in honor of gemini, the astrological sign. now they’re sitting together in our kitchen watching the sun.
i haven’t blogged too much lately, but there are good reasons. since we set our wedding date, other details are slowly falling into place. we found a tiny church for the ceremony and booked a photographer. i’m currently in the process of securing our reception venue. michael ordered a suit, and i haphazardly found a j.crew dress on ebay that ended up being simply beautiful and very “me”. come on y’all— it has pockets.
i don’t feel like the frazzled, stressed, frustrated woman from the last few months. i feel happy and calm and open to change because gosh darn it life is full of unexpected bumps.
it is also full of unexpected surprises. we learned that our wedding date is the birthday of michael’s late grandmother, a funny lady who unabashedly made chocolate cakes from boxed mixes and yelled occasionally at her husband (our pop). in other words, she’s someone i would have loved to meet.
guess what? michael and i set our wedding date. in october, we will get married and celebrate with the best bunch of our family and friends.
wedding planning hasn’t been a cake walk. several venues fell through or flaked out. i cried many times in frustration. i even pretended to write a book called love in the time of pinterest (inspired by an email to tania).
i’ve realized now that we don’t want a perfect wedding. we expect a day that is filled with love, joy, giggles, blushes, minor mishaps, and hopefully small moments of serenity. oh, i can’t forget— thrifted decorations.
p.s. if you like the cameo illustration, it’s available for you and your sweetheart here.
it took a long time— almost three years to be exact— for michael and i to pick out furniture for our deck. everything we liked cost the same as “real” furniture so we finally settled on a classic wooden picnic table and an outdoor rug from lowe’s.
every warm weekend, we look forward to porch suppers. i cover the table with a neutral tablecloth and table runner, move our flower vase from inside to outside, block sophie from escaping into the yard, and we’re set. we even have a chalkboard for the night’s menu.
because i’m debating whether to paint our table, i’m only sharing a few snapshots for now. by painting i mean stenciling it with stripes or triangles or turning it into a giant slate. you’ll have to wait and see.
american media glamorizes eternal youth. women are perpetually twenty with glistening skin, perfect hair, and feet that never hurt in heels. no one ever goes grey or gets cellulite. no one ever admits to spoiling dinner with a handful (or three) of cheese puffs.
in college, i dreaded growing older. with age came responsibility. with responsibility came the future and everyone knew the future was unpredictable. i relished car rides with friends and singalongs to saves the day CDs. i looked forward to dance nights at 11 p.m. and bike rides on narrow streets. i didn’t need glasses or moisturizer.
last week, i turned thirty-two. my twenty-year-old self would have said “ew” to such tragic news. my twelve-year-old self would have said “ew” to an unfathomable event. but today my thirty-two-year-old self is smiling.
i have a wonderful family, friends, job, and pug. most nights i’m in bed by ten. i gave up “goal” jeans and simply wear good ones. i plucked six white hairs off my head on sunday.
i am growing older. we all are. but somewhere in between then and now, i’ve realized that we never stop growing into who we are supposed to be.
i feel happy. i feel creative. i feel beautiful. i feel young. and i like cheese puffs.
movies and books can’t help but equate love to grand gestures: the chasing of trains, the trails of rose petals, the impulsive cross-country flights. our hearts swell just thinking about a hero (or heroine) who takes a leap of faith in the name of love accompanied by a perfect soundtrack.
but love also means little things. i don’t think love could survive without sweet notes, presents just because, or car ride sing-alongs. in honor of valentine’s day, here are the little things important to our family.
- buy a box or bag of each other’s favorite candy. don’t eat it! put it by a frequented place (ex. desk or sink) and pretend you have no idea where it came from.
- hold hands when someone’s mad (usually me). it’s difficult to stay angry when michael squeezes my fingers.
- send a lunchbag note. make sure it’s really embarrassing.
- dance to silly songs and get the words wrong.
- listen up and then really listen. everyone multitasks nowadays. put down the mouse, dishes, or phone for a few minutes and let your partner share a story or vent a frustration.
- appreciate each other. it could be a simple “thank you” for taking the recycling out or getting dinner ready.
- say i love you whenever you want. for me, it’s often. there aren’t any rules for it unless you’ve been sitting outside of ryan gosling’s house for days. then that might be creepy.
do you have any little things to add to the list?